Sunday, August 26, 2007

August 26th at 18:30

Well things just keep getting better and better. I heard from Sean today. Yep. I also heard from him that julie (sean's gf) is going to be dropping out of fredonia. Me and Julie were supposed to be car pooling home every weekend. So now every other weekend i need to find a way home. This unfortunately is going to probably be the bus that runs from fredonia to rochester and then from rochester i'll have to back track and go back to leicester. I really feel quite alone right now. I mean i have my roommate Dave i mean i talk to him a bit but other than that i have nothing. I talk to Rachael over the phone all the time but I still feel like crap just like I did yesterday. The only thing keeping me going right now is other people's opinions not even my own. I don't want to be here anymore. If i could make a living without going to college i would. I just can't believe how much i feel like i'm dying every second is like the pain doubles. I want nothing more or less than to be home right now. I really am deeply considering dropping out. 99.9% of me wants to drop out and then that .1% thinks hey my parents would be so disappointed and i feel like i can't fail them even though i don't even want to be here. I hate this. I hate all of this. Life sucks at the moment and the only things keeping me going are Rachael and the Lord. The emails that come from my parents and my uncle do help. They calm me down for about 5 minutes and then the disappointment and sorrow just kind of tends to hit me like a brick. Well i don't really have much more to say. This is Jeremy signing off and hating Fredonia.

Jeremy

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