In case everyone hasn't noticed i'm keeping time in military time. There is reasoning behind that. Its because at the time being it feels like i'm at boot camp here or in prison or something. I'm away from those things that matter most to me other than the Lord. But i talked to my mom today after programming about transfering to GCC and she wasn't completely against it but she feels like i shouldn't cause Rachael will be starting school soon and won't be able to see me during the week anyways so i should just stay here and come home on the weekends. She also feels that if i stay here then i'll be able to get a better job out of college and be able to support Rachael better in the future. And i want to be able to take care of my only love so now i kinda want to stay here... for her sake. I honestly don't care about myself but I just wouldn't feel right if later on down the road i have a crappy job and can't support the family right. I want to be able to make her comfortable. I know that she'll say that she doesn't care as long as she's with me but the thing is i want to be able to make her the happiest person in the world so now i'm leaning that way.... BUT I HAVE NO CLUE!!!! I feel so crappy right now its not even funny. Breakin down just feels like a normal event now. It happens enough. I really want to ask Rachael to marry me though. I'm thinking about just saving my money that i'm supposed to be using for fun this year and at the end of the year getting her a ring and asking her to marry me. Of course not right away heck i'm only a freshmen in college but soon. I really want to marry her so badly it never leaves my thoughts. Well i'm gonna go try and stop thinking about all this maybe play some call of duty try and get my mind onto something familiar like home.
Later everybody,
Jeremy
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